About Cheerio

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In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

pg # 13

I am not planning a long post. Instead I foresee short post spurts happening as I am reading thru the book "The Primal Wound." I don't have it all planned out. So I don't know if you should expect commentary or opinion and thoughts? or to not expect them? Tonight (tehcnically this morning) I am stopping a few pages shy of the end of chapter #1. I am stopping at page #13. For now I will merely quote Nancy Vierra from today's stopping point.
" ... what if
the most abusive thing
which can happen to a child
that he is taken from his mother?"
abusive ... taken ... his mother


  1. Ahhhh Cheerio...

    I have just started re-reading this book again myself. I read it a couple of years ago along with her other book and found them healing for myself! I love the quote you ended your post on... as a newborn, I was separated from my mother and ended up in an incubator and in hospital away from my mother... years later I was diagnosed with separation trauma. At one stage I was sure my mother didn't love me and that I might have been adopted. I found Nancy Verrier's book very healing and validating of that wound I had nursed since childhood. My mum always felt no matter how much she told me she loved me, I just didn't get it. Now,things are much better as I have worked through these issues and understand them more... and no I wasn't adopted! Its small in comparison to what happens in adoptees but when I read her book, it really made sense. Now I am re-reading it to help me better understand Amber. I hope you really enjoy it and get what you need out of it :)


  2. " ... what if the most abusive thing
    which can happen to a child is
    that he is taken from his mother?"

    Ah, but this is where adoption is supposed to FIX it all. Didn't you know that? /sarcasm

    Seriously though... wow.

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  4. Hi Cheerio,

    I have been trying to get the courage to read this book for quite some time now. I wonder now if I could get past pg 13. Let me know how it goes and maybe, just maybe I'll have the courage to attempt it myself.

    Be Well,

  5. This was the first book I found which accurately identified some of the feelings I've always had. An excellent read.
    I'm currently struggling through "Coming Home to Self", also an excellent read and full of ideas which make me say "whoa", stop, re-read, ponder, re-read and ponder some more before moving on. It may take me a while to finish...

  6. "It may take me a while to finish..."

    The first book I ever read to 'help' me was "silent grief" -it is not specifically adoption related, but focus is child loss... it took me over two years to read that book.
    it is under 200 pages

    But I think it was also the very first steps of healing for me.

  7. Ah, Cheerio.

    The book is hard I know. I cried my way through most of it and at times found myself wanting to punch someone - something just to get the anger and pain out.
    Take your time and read it at your pace and remember you, and the so many of us, didn't know. They lied to us and showed us the fairy tale instead of the truth.
    I'm here if you need me.