About Cheerio

My photo
In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

3 parties of Successful Scams and Fraud

Scams and the elderly- sound familiar? If not, put this post on hold until you go back and read the one from last week by that title. Otherwise some things in this post may not make complete sense.
Successful Scams and Fraud takes three (3) parties.
In the prior post, we already talked about the first party and how con artists become successful. It is basically by deceiving someone, usually at a vulnerable time of their life. That 'someone' becomes the second party involved - the victim.
When I was a young teen I was living in a trailer that my Mom rented. It was on a farm, and the farm house was turned into a rental property with a few apartments.
One night near the end of March, when I was 14, I was hanging out with two other gals who also lived there. They were both a year older than me. I don't remember all the details of how the idea came up, but we all piled into Jeff's pickup for a drive. Jeff was a farm hand and maintenance guy for the rental properties. He was quite a few years older.
We rode into town and Jeff (name has been changed) stopped for some beer while we were out. Instead of driving back to the farm right away, we rode around the country side.
While just riding around, Jeff shared his beer. I don't remember if it was cans or bottles, nor do I recall if it was lite or regular beer. I do remember not being interested even though the other two girls had a beer or two or three, I didn't really pay attention to how much was consumed. Eventually we got back to the farm.
Did I mention that I lived with my Mom? I don't remember how it all came out, but I ended up telling her what happened. You bet ya - she called the police. The police talked to all us girls, and probably talked to Jeff as well. And that's the end of that story.
Well, they probably had to write up some kind of report when they got back to the station. Then that was the end of that story.
Jeff? I don't think anything happened to Jeff. No warning, no fine, no arrest. Nada.
-because the victims were not willing to testify against him.
I'm telling you - my Mom was hot under the collar! She was NOT happy that nothing was going to be done about it. Not happy in the least. When she gets angry her one eye squints partially closed. She definitely had the angry squinty eye thing going on.
Let me clarify one little detail. When I said that none of the victims were willing to testify, I was not referring to myself. The policeman explained that since I did not drink any of the beer; although I was there, although I witnessed the whole ordeal; although I was offered beer, I was not considered a "victim." Only the other two girls were a victim, I was merely a witness.
What does this story about giving alcohol to minors have to do with adoption?
My voice didn't really amount to much in that situation when it came to confronting or making accusations. If nothing happened, or nothing was lost, then there is nothing to say. But with a victim, something DID happen, and the victim has power in using their voice.
Even among victims, every one is different though.

Some face a period of denial. Some are too ashamed to talk about what happened. Some don’t get the help that they really need. Some try to just move on and try to pretend nothing happened. Some victims blame themselves beyond what is reasonable and are riddled with excessive guilt. Some never see justice. Some are angry for a long time afterward. Some stay crippled by the experience. Some use the experience as a catapult to spearhead a cause to fight for.

Successful scams involve Three (3) parties:

The con-artist.

The victim.

You & Society as a whole.

Society is either protecting the victims, or it is exploiting them. Read on if you're wondering, how society is exploiting the victims?

One way is by not giving weight to their voice. Instead of listening to the victims, they are ignored, shushed, or silenced. We must ask ourselves: If we're not listening to the victim, then who ARE we listening to? Are we listening to each other, which have not 'lost' anything? Are we listening to the con artists?

Listening, as with our preconceived ideas of what we want to hear is not right. We, society as a whole, needs to be sure we are carefully listening to the victim and what they have to say.

But it cannot stop there. After listening to the victim and finding out that, yes - indeed they were deceived and taken advantage of. If society does not protect the victim and prevent the spread of the scam/fraud - then that is the other way they are exploiting the victims. It is not enough to just listen; effort must be put into reducing and stopping the incidents of fraud.

Prior post I described how adoption professionals have all the behaviors of other undesirable con artists. They take advantage of women at a vulnerable time of their life, and they manipulate these women to get what they want (her baby).

Society needs to start recognizing her, not as a woman who made a choice, but as a victim who was conned into making that choice. The next step is for society as a whole to protect her from the fraudulent activities and tactics of the adoption professionals.

And just as there are warnings posted all over the place "caution" or "beware" about scams to prevent others from becoming a victim, there should be the same type of cautions regarding adoption and adoption professionals. Also there should be warnings that expose the 'tactics' being used.

So, as long as society is not protecting and preventing, they are standing in the same corner with the con artists and scammers. They are exploiting more victims.

Victim of adoption fraud. Similar to Scams and the elderly.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Scams and the elderly

You hear of the warnings to beware of scams and fraud. They come in all flavors (only bad flavors, though). Frequently elderly folks are the victims. My neighbor is a sweet little old lady. She is very prim and proper. She doesn’t go anywhere unless she is dressed up in a dress suit, nylons, and pumps. Her yard is manicured and she even edges the grass creep along her sidewalk every year. She is just a little lady, shrunken with age. Don’t get me wrong though, she still gets around and is a feisty one. I worry about her when I see her outside working. I’m not going to try to stop her, but I’ll either offer a hand, or just keep peeking at her out of the corner of my eye – just ‘in case’ something would happen. Maybe you have a sweet little old lady or gentleman in your neighborhood. You might have a few stories or memories of your own you could share. How do you feel when you hear that one of these people is taken advantage of by a scam or by fraud? Seriously, think about how it makes you feel.
What is your knee-jerk reaction? Do you think to yourself that they deserve it? - Do you have thoughts wondering if they weren’t smart enough to not leave a stone unturned while researching before making their decision? - If they didn't do "enough" research, then do you feel it’s their own fault and they should just suck it up? - Do you contemplate that after all those years they should just know better, and if they didn’t they’re just stupid and not worth any respect at all? Or -- would you consider them a victim? Would you have empathy and realize that they are at a very vulnerable place in their life? - Do you also realize there are people who prey on such vunerability? - Do you think about how dependants they are on others helping them make difficult decisions? - Do you feel sad at how betrayed, and maybe ashamed he or she must feel? - Do you see the pain in their eyes as they describe the situation to you, and realize how much regret they have? Scams and Fraud – it breaks my heart when I hear or read about another victim. Hmmmm, victim. The word ‘victim’ came up this week in regards to adoption. The children who are adopted and separated from their family unnecessarily- they are a victim, hands down. No question about it. They are a victim, and they had no say in it at all. They are separated from their natural family and go throug life without that genetic mirroring. They feel isolated as they try to grapple through many emotions, expecially feelings of being abandoned. They go through a life of constant inner turmoil. They are indeed victims.
What about the mother who has lost her child to adoption? She can’t be considered a victim, especially when she signed away her rights. Or, can she? If she is not a victim, then neither are the elderly in cases of fraud or scams. Just like your sweet little old neighbor, that expectant mom is at a very vulnerable place in her life. She has to try to figure out whom she can trust and whom she can’t trust, especially since adoption professionals target her and her baby as their prey. Who to trust? There is the key.
Scammers are professional ‘con artists’.
They appear to care about their ‘victim’. They can tell outright lies while looking you in the eye, AND have a smile on their face. They use specific words to manipulate how their message is received. They can read their victim’s body language to know which part of their sales pitch is reeling in the deal. They know the key phrases to send subtly implied messages. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. They will tell the ‘victim’ whatever they need to – no matter how hollow the promises are. They will avoid talking about facts that might cause them to lose the sale. They are initimdating, sometimes outright othertimes it's subliminal. This is what adoption professionals do. NO adoption agency should be allowed to claim they are giving ‘non – biased’ counseling. Talk about conflict of interest! That’s like handing your fish to the bear.
The reality is that if adoption agencies do not get babies for their clients to adopt/buy, then the agency won’t stay in business. It is their business to get babies, period. It is not a ‘ministry’ as many ‘christian agencies’ claim. Their purpose is to get babies, not "minister" to the TRUE needs of the expectant mom so she can parent her baby.
And yes, I intentionally use the expression "stay in business," because that is what adoption agencies are, profit seeking businesses. I don't care what color the ink is from their "non-profit" rubber stamp! This too is deceiving. "Non-profit" does NOT mean there is NO profit, what it means is that their expenses must equal their income. So if they make a whole lot of money this year - they need to spend it, like bonuses or salary increases.
The scammer's intent is to get as much dough as possible. They pretend they wil take care of that sweet little widow's needs. They don't take care of her, they only trick her. But that's what con-artists do. That's what adoption agencies do.
Have you ever considered how ridiculous it is to allow any adoption professional to provide "counseling”? They "claim" it is non-bias counseling, but it really a tool for finding out how to manipulate the expectant mom. They do not discuss ALL her options. In the few situations that they do discuss 'other' options, being professional con-artists, they still tip the scales to make those “other options” sound bad, and mysteriously only the adoption option is made to sound “best” and “right.” They refer to her as a birthmother – planting in her mind the seed to fulfill this new title they’ve assigned to her. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. They say adoption is a loving choice – which plants the idea that if she does not choose adoption, she is unloving. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. They say that adoption is brave – subtle terminology to say that if she does not choose adoption, she is a coward. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. They say that adoption is selfless (excuse me while I hack up a hairball at the hypocrisy on THIS!!)- which implies that parenting is selfish. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional.
If the e-mom (expectant mom) talks about her dreams and aspirations, will she get support and encouragement? Will they give her a list of resources? No. The responses she will hear are like these “It isn’t fair for a baby to hold you back from reaching your dreams.” Instead of reminding her that she can still reach her goals – even if it takes her longer, and it will be hard, but she can do it.
Here’s another one, “How will you be able to go to college and take care of a baby?” Instead of providing her with ideas of getting student loans or reminding her that the child won’t need daycare their entire life! This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. Here are other key phrases, “children deserve a two parent home.” They won't mention the reality that aparents are human too. They go through divorce like every other group of people in society. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. And how is it that a ‘christian agency’ would say to an expectant mom, who is sitting there with the father of the baby - to "not get married, it won't work out?" Wait, it’s okay to rip apart flesh and blood? to sever the SACRED God Designed mother/child bond? Which is not suggested in the Bibleny awhere. But they'll advise against marriage, which is mentioned repeatedly in the Bible? So, instead of using their own Bible as a guide to encourage marriage, they’ll promote their own man-made adoption ideology to separate the family. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. More counseling phrases are “Don’t you want your child to have the best? A loving couple that is financial secure can provide what your child needs.” This is more of the subtle message, accusing her of not careing about her child's needs, negative doubts that she could provide and care for her child. More of the 'loving couple' implies that she is unloving to keep her baby. It is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. These subtle messages are repeated over and over with each discussion and each visit by the adoption professional. This is no accident; it is very deliberate and intentional. I could go on with phrases that adoption professionals use to undermine the expectant mom’s self worth and ability. But this post is not about that. This post is to point out how someone can be decived and becomes a victim.
Yes, most unfortunately I am a first mom. I’ve lost my only child to adoption. I do acknowledge that I made the decision. But, you know what? The the elderly man also made a decision when he wrote out the check to the scammer. He made a choice and played a part in his ow misery, yet we recognize he was a victim. He was a targeted by a con-artist and became their victim.
He made a choice, I made a choice. Both bad choices. We are both a victim. And yet people will show compassion to him, but not toward a first mom. Why is that? Why be condemning and judgmental of any victim at all? Is it to make oneself feel better by maybe feeling superior to, or better than, or smarter than the victim?
There is no need to be harsh or judgmental. Nor is there a need to separate 'responsibility' and 'victim' into an either/or issue. I can be both at the same time. Just because I describe myself as a victim of the adoption con-artists, does not mean I am denying I had any part in it. And when I acknowledge my part in it, that does not make me any less of a victim.
Come back next Monday or Tuesday. There is another angle to discuss on the whole victim, scam,fraud, adoption topic.
Victim of adoption fraud. Similar to Scams and the elderly.

Friday, April 17, 2009

cheerio sticks her neck out

Time and time and time again, I've described myself as "in the closet" first mom. I hide behind my computer screen. And it is here where I feel safe enough to open some of the windows to my soul. Very few people in real life know that I have a child. So far my son has been my only child. Only people who are close to me know about him, and only people I feel I can trust. There have been a few I told about him, and then wish I had kept my mouth shut! Like the lady who insists on spewing the despicable adoption rhetoric that caused me to lose my child. Lady - I was NOT brave!!! I was freaking terrified out of my mind. I was afraid. Someone who doesn't even try because they are afraid? That does not make them 'brave'. NO! It makes them a yellow bellied sap sucker (aka: chicken)! She's known me for what? a year or so, and all of a sudden she thinks she knows what I was thinking and feeling 15 years ago? Who does she think she is? God knows, and I can guarantee He'd be on my side correcting this woman - "No," He'd say in His deep booming voice, "No, Lady. Cheerio was not brave, she was a coward. I gave her a beautiful perfect little boy, and she gave him away. There is no bravery in that." But so far God hasn't tapped this lady to silence her. Instead she tells me (literally) "I don't care what you think," [now, this is AFTER I've told her that her words are hurtful] "I still think you're brave." Do people say this stupid stuff to a woman living with domestic voilence? Do they say you were brave to marry him, even though he is abusive? Do they tell her that she did the right thing? I sure hope not! Ya know, she's so bent on sticking to her own opinion that I doubt she'd even listen to God Himself, even if He were to speak in an audible voice. Alas, the gibberish and hurtful words from those who are not affected by adoption. That is partly why I hide here. It doesn't take long to learn who is going to be sensitive, and who isn't. Then I can pick and choose who to interact with. But then I heard a knock on that closet door. An adoptee invited me to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration in Philly this July. It seems the closet door has cracked open a bit. Cheerio is still hiding inside, but she is at least peering through the crack. As the date for the demonstration draws closer, I am nervous. But I want to do this to fight for the rights of adoptees. I especially want to stand and be counted - to oppose the lie from the adoption professionals that first moms want to stay a secret. THEY want us to stay a secret. THEY want us to live in shame and stay hidden. I can't let them continue winning, spewing their lies unchallenged. I have so many adoptee friends on my Cheerio facebook account, it's very cool! But then there's the facebook account with my 'real' name, which is totally separate. Nothing to do with adoption is listed or linked there. Until - - until this week. At the Easter Egg Hunt last week a lady said she sent me a friend invite. She said she saw me listed as a friend to someone else. It surprised me. I didn't have him as my friend. I had not been on that account for weeks. Curiosity got the best of me, and so early this week, I signed on. I found 17 friend invites - mostly from people at my church! I have not accepted any of them as friends yet. First I wanted to update my profile page. I've added a link to the video below "Are you my mommy?" And I've added a link to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration blog. This weekend I'll accept all those other friend invites. And from day #1, they will see a glimpse of (ironically enough) the 'real' me - and they will know about Adoptee Rights. Cheerio stuck her neck out. We'll see if her head gets lopped off for it? closet hiding shame guilt fear

Saturday, April 11, 2009

glimpse of the 'crafty side' of cheerio

I was asked to preserve a dozen roses for someone. The roses were given to here at a very special ceremony and they have a lot of sentimental value to her. By the time she asked me, she had already had the roses for a week. They survived the trip home in her luggage w/out great damage. But they still were not pristine condition when I picked up the roses. The first step is to preserve the rose. Hanging them upside down does not retain the color as well. I prefer to cut the stem off and put the rose in silica gel (which is not a gel at all, it is granualar almost like sand) using plastic quart soup containers. Once the roses are covered in gel, they take months to dry. It is critical that the very center of the rose bud is completely dry. I let them in the silica gel for 6 - 9 months. Then I gently take them out of the silica. This leaves a fine dust on the flower, so being anal, I use a few paintbrushes of various bristle types to brush the dust off of and in between all the petals. After dusting, I then take wire and use it to connect the rose to a 'fake' stem. Now that the rose has a long stem, it is easier to handle. This is when I spray each rose with light layers of clear silac to bring out the color and give a bit of a glossy shine. This makes the rose look alive again. It is important to let it completely dry between coats. I like to wait 24 hours. After it has been sprayed, I then wrap the stem in green floral tape. I start wrapping just below the base of the rose to cover the wire union to the stem, and with a twisting motion, spiral the tape the entire length of the stem.

For this project, she wanted the roses displayed upright in a vase. I had to create rose leaf stems. I took three pieces of wire and twisted them together to form a turkey foot. Then I wraped these wires in green floral tape.

Rose leaves have a distinct shape. I took silk leaves and cut them apart, then using hot glue, glued three leaves to each turkey foot. I now had leaf stems.

Later I will use more green floral tape to attach these to the rose stems. While waiting for the spray to dry, I found the perfect vase. I centered it, then securely adhered it to the wooden base of the glass dome display. I found that Gorilla glue works great for this. I've also learned that they really mean to use sparingly, otherwise it seeps out along the edge of the vase, and that is not attractive. After the vase was secured, I mixed several colors of decorative sand. I used a buff, tan, light blue, and a royal blue. I mixed these together very well. Then I poured this mix into the vase. Next I took my 12 roses and the 12 qt containers they had been dried in. I arranged the 12 containers in the shape I wanted my arrangement to have. I then sat one rose in each numbered container, so I could determine where to position each rose. Now all I had to do was arrange the 12 roses in the vase. I was careful to move the wired leaves into position as I arranged the roses. Once all the roses were in place, I took 3 silk ferns and put the in the background. Lastly I took pieces of white baby's breath and tucked pieces of it here and there among the roses. I am horrible at cleaning windows - so my hubby will wash the dome for me. Then I can sit it over this arrangement, and it will be preserved for many many years (as long as she keeps it out of direct sunlight). This was 'Due' first day of spring. I acutally had it done w/ a few days to spare.

I hope she likes it!
crafty cheerio

Monday, April 6, 2009

her face

People are different - many different shapes, sizes, and personalitie. Just like the variety of spring flowers. Some people are loners, others like to surround themselves with others. Some people like to keep at it until they have the task complete, while others get bored doing just one thing and need variety. Some people love babies and children, others don't. People who know me, know that I don't interract with babies at all - and with young children only minimally. When they're at about age 7, I'm more comfortable with children. By the time they're pre-teens, I enjoy being around them. I love the energy teenagers give off. They're a blast to be around and to watch. Poor Uncle Ian, he's become the subject of a few posts lately. Well, this isn't really about him, but about one of his two lovely daughters. I don't get involved with any of the 'kid's programs' at church. I'd rather get to know them on an individual basis when they're older. I didn't give it much thought at how old Uncle Ian's daughters are now. Last I remembered they were 5 & 3 yrs old. But when I sat down on Sunday morning, we happened to sit next to them. Thatt's when I realized the oldest girl is that magic pre-teen age! I don't know when she grew up like that! I haven't really talked with her before, and I'm certain she wouldn't even know my name. There are several chairs between me and the girls. The girl gets up to bring the basket to me, and I looked into her face. Yup! She's almost a teenager. You can see it in her face and her complexion. She's a beautiful girl! She's thin, but taller than I would have envisioned for Chinese heritage. But when I looked into her face, my heart fell. All I could think about for the rest of the service, and throughout the day was ... "Her mother will never have the chance to look into this girl's face. Her mother will never know how beautiful her own daughter' is becoming. This beatiful girl will never be able to look into her mother's face and see where she gets her beautiful eyes? her nose? or her lips or her brow?." I felt as though I had stolen this glimpse from a woman in another land far far away. How could I see her daughter, when she could not? And she probably never will. It just wasn't right. I did not deserve to see this mother's wish, when I looked into this girl's face.
her pretty face

Friday, April 3, 2009

An Abnormal Flower

How does an Abnormal Flower live in a Normal World? 
 Spring is here and the flowers are reaching for the sunlight. I take a stroll outside and sit in my garden. My hands are wrapped around my cup of hot tea, my fingers are entwined. I sit. I sit silently, and I listen. My eyes are closed and my face is warmed by the kisses of distant sunrays. 

Ever so faintly I hear the earth moving, and mulch is being pushed around. I can hear the giddy little sounds of the bulbs sending their leaves up. Their leaves reach up up up, up from the darkenss of the cold earth. Reaching skyward toward the sunlight and it’s warmth. 
 First it is the snowdrops that break through. Their white bell shaped flowers act like a trumpet to the rest of the sleeping earth and her bulbs beneath. The brave snowdrops break through the mulch, and rise above the snow proclaiming SPRING is on it’s way! Despite the fact that it is still cold and the land seems frozen. 

 Within a day a cheery yellow face of the winter aconite breaks through the mulch and is joyously proclaiming that winter is over and it’s time for spring. Then it’s almost as if a murmur surrounds me and I can hear the little chanting sounds … “Spring, did they say it’s spring?” “Alright! I can stretch now, way up to the sky!” “I can’t WAIT to break out of this pile of dirt and rocks and see all my spring flower friends again!” Yippie! It’s Spring!” 

 The crocuses have the cutest little chorus. Their grass-like sprigs of leaves poke through the ground with a breath of fresh air simply and announce, “SsssspRING!” It’s as if they were just released from a shaken soda bottle. But it doesn’t end there. Tiny flowers of yellow, white, and purple rise from the center of their grassy display. As each bloom reaches it’s maximum height, it rests for a few moments before gracefully allowing each flower petal to fall open with the sound of “ahhhh aaaa, spring.” It’s silent and almost wistful. 
 The daffodils, the hyacinths, the irises, they are all awakening from their slumber. All around me I hear their joy and their energy and their enthusiasm. I just sit there absorbing it all. 

 Then behind me I hear the leaves rustle and another voice joins the rest. Except this time the chorus becomes silent as I see one tiny tip of a tulip pushing aside the leaves. She is breaking through the crusted mulch and she lifts her green leaves skyward. “Ahhhh. Spring,” she says. “Finally, it’s spring.” I recognized her right away. That is where the beautiful apeldoorn tulips were planted. What a lovely sight they will be later in the season! The majestic apeldoorn have graceful long sturdy stems and elegant red flower petals. Each petal was artistically designed, with just a touch of yellow/orange, as if airbrushed in place. 

I pull myself out of my daydreaming, and realize that the awkward silence is still hanging in the air. I’m not really sure why, so I just sit still waiting for clues. 

After a few moments the cheery little yellow winter aconite makes the broad announcement, “Well. Will you look who it is! If it isn’t little Miss AppelLESS Apeldoorn Tulip Girl. Welcome back, you little faker.” 
 “You mean that?” Questions the little tulip of the aconite? “You’re really welcoming me back?” 

“No! Of course, Not! I’m not welcoming you! Can’t you tell sarcasm when it is oozing out of every pore of my stem and leaves?! No, you’re not really welcome here! You’re not one of us. You’re … you’re … You’re ABNORMAL! And you jut don’t belong!” The tirade of the aconite continues “Why did you come back? We didn’t want you last year, or the year before. What makes you think this year will be any different? You ruin the beauty of our garden and our grandiose spring display.” 

I could see the little tulip wilt in her hole. Her leaves were no longer reaching above her. They were curled around her – as she tried to hide from sight. She was no longer breathing in the fresh spring air. The other spring flowers mocked her, whispered about her, and turned away from her altogether. 

This was not at all what I was expecting in my enchanted spring garden. I lift myself from the earth and walk slowly to the house. Even though I look at the yellow daffodils and purple lungwort, I find that I keep looking over at her. My mind is reeling and searching to find what makes her “abnormal?” I go to the potting shed and grab a pair of gloves, a trowel, and a small clay pot. I return to this lonely little tulip, being very careful with every step to not disturb other flowers that have not broken through. 

I kneel down and gently dig around this tulip, and gently talk to her. “There there, little girl. Everything is going to be alright. Don’t you worry about a thing.” As I get ready to move her from the ground into the clay pot, my suspicions were confirmed. Instead of a healthy full bulb, this one was misshapen. Apparently at one time she was damaged when trying to move her. 

Several memories flashed through my mind seemingly all at once. 
When I had my son, I was like that tulip. I brought into this world another life. It was beautiful and precious. He was perfect, except for one thing - I was his mother. I was afraid that if I were to parent, I would ruin him. That his future would be marred and he would be shackled and unable to reach his full potential with a mother like me. Yes, this is what adoption professionals WANT the expectant moms to think, that "Your baby deserves MORE than YOU." They were so WRONG, and I made the worst mistake of my life believing it. 

I felt just like this little tulip I held in my hand. At one time someone sliced through the fleshy bulb. Now a chunk is missing and she will never flower agian. When they separated me and my child, they sliced through the flesh of my soul -- through that very sacred mother/child bond. Without him, a fleshy part of me is missing, I have never been the same.

I take the little tulip to the house, not really sure what I’m going to do with her now. What do you do with a tulip that will never flower? She had flowered once, but that part of her has been cut away, and she will never lift another face of petals to the sky again. Do I just toss her in the compost bin behind the shed? What dignity would she have left then? 
 No. I think, instead, I’ll keep her here on the porch with me. 
After all, I know what it’s like being an abnormal flower trying to live in a normal world.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Uncle Ian ... 'Starfish' Update

End of February and early March I wrote about "Uncle Ian" and how "he's a starfish too"
Well, here's the Cheerio update.
Last week we had our follow up meeting with Uncle Ian.
I had my tablet, pencil, and manilla folder.
In the folder was a double sided brochure. I copied as much as I could from the Adoptee Rights Demonstration blog website, and pasted it into a word document trying to imitate the same format.
Cheerio was going in prepared.
Before the meeting I wondered to myself, "Well, what do I do if 'the subject' doesn't come up at all?" I figured that since I was not empty handed, the subject would not come up.
The meeting was much shorter this time. I feel like it was a big help to helping us feel more prepared for retirement.
As we were wrapping up, Uncle Ian asked if there were any other questions. So I asked how much we owe. I was shocked when he said "nothing." As we all know "nothing" is "free" these days. But he reminded us the very first time we talked, even then he said that a meeting just to review finances and see if we were on track financially would not cost anything.
I was stunned (and relieved ad thankful) at that bit of news.
But I was also nervous. The meeting wrapped up, and I still have this attractive color brochure in my manila folder.
We were being ushered to the door when I finally got up the nerve to pull out the brochure and hand it to him. I said "I printed this out for you. It's for you and your wife to look over and talk about. I have a lot of friends who will be at this Demonstration in Philly. I'm planning to be there with them in July."
He thanked me and said he'd share it with his wife.
I wonder if Tigers ever feel nervous?
My nerves were all ruffled but at the same time, Cheerio made a stand -- even if it was just a teeny tiny one.
As many of us know - AParents aren't typically interested in the Adoptee's Rights. But I am. I'll be shy, but proud to stand with my friends in July to point out the discrimination and injustice!
I'll be there with or without Uncle Ian!