About Cheerio

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In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Friday, March 2, 2012

a different person?

There are two kinds of Chiropractors.

There are the traditional ones -as I call them, the “snap, crackle, and pop” kind - that just snap bones back into place. Even as a kid I’ve always had headaches and migraines, and would occasionally visit a chiropractor. This was the kind of chiropractor I went to when I was pregnant 18 years ago. I thought that snap crackle pop, was the only kind there was.

But now I go to a chiropractor who focuses on working on the muscles, and he never forces an adjustment. Apparently I am a challenge in that area, because I am just “too flexible” and he can’t get the vertebrate to slide back into place so easily. The electric stimulus was weird at first, but I usually fall asleep while the machine does its work after an adjustment. And my neck, I can freely move and turn my head without stiffness or pain!

I love Dr Eddy. I’ve been one of his patients for years. He is a good chiropractor and a great person. He’s always been interested in what was going on in my life – and even remembers it if I don’t see him for months! One of the biggest benefits I’ve had as his patient was finally discovering a major trigger for the migraines. At the suggestion of a nut allergy (food kind, not the co-worker kind) I discovered I indeed am allergic to peanuts. Wow! The migraine attacks have decreased greatly since I’ve cut out peanuts and all peanut products.

But this post is not about peanuts, or methods of chiropractic care. It is about a prevalent stereotype.

You see, back in 1994 when I was pregnant I think the chiropractor helped. I think all the stretches he suggested also helped. It was eighteen years ago, but I still remember in the ‘birthing’ classes that they talked about false labor, and said we’d know it was real labor when it included incredible back pain.

I never had back pain, none. I was ten days over my due date, and when labor pains started, I dismissed it because there was no back pain. It really freaked my Mom out when I finally woke her up and told her that I had been timing the pain for over an hour and I seemed to be having contractions about 5 minutes apart. Not a stitch of back pain through the whole ordeal.

So, when I found out in 2009 that I was pregnant again, I figured I’d make regular chiropractor visits, because the back pain – just doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun, especially if it can be avoided. I visited Dr Eddy, and when it came time for the electric stimulus, I declined. I just didn’t feel comfortable with an electric current and any risk to the baby.

Being pregnant brought up a subject with him that we had not discussed before. It was 2009, and I was just beginning to come out of the closet about having given up a baby for adoption. In fact this discussion with Dr Eddy was less than two months after my first ever Adoptee Rights Demonstration, which truly was like being catapulted out of the closet of hiding and secrecy. I told Dr Eddy about my son, about the pain of living without him, about all the years of shame, about the unethical tactics of coercion used by the adoption professionals.

I just wasn’t prepared for his response as he calmly said, “Well, you are a different person now than you were then.”

Seriously? ! ? !

Dr Eddy, what about me has changed? Sure, I am not as impatient as I was in 1994, but that comes with maturity – which happens to most people. I’ve never slept around. I’ve never touched drugs. I’ve occasionally gotten tipsy but don’t drink a lot or often. I’ve never smoked (or chewed). I’ve been working since I was a teenager and am a good reliable employee. I am a law abiding and productive citizen (with a slightly lead foot).

Other than maturity, please describe what about me has changed? At the core, I am the exact same person I was in 1994.

And now that you’ve known me, Dr Eddy, for over 10 years – What about me is so -Awful Wrong that my son should have be severed from his family and sold off to strangers?

Nothing, Dr Eddy, nothing at all is wrong with me – not with who I am now, nor was there anything defective with me then either.

The problem, my friend, was not with me. The problem was and is with adoption and myriad of people in society, just like you who believe the lies and have the attitude that pregnant women should not care for their own babies. Making women feel like they are defective so their babies can be sold for a profit. That, Dr Eddy, is the problem.

No, I am not really a different person. I was mutilated for no good reason, unless, of course, greed is a “good reason” in your opinion.


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