About Cheerio

My photo
In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

the walls of yesterday

My prior post … walls going up… I ended the post with “Look at his family. Maybe he is better off without me?” What was I thinking?!?! That is them talking! It is the nonsense and lies of the adoption industry rhetoric! I’m certain they would be patting themselves I the back if they’d read that. They’d be bragging to each other and saying “Well, we’ve worn down and silenced another one, boys.” Then they’d all high-five each other. Sick! Disgusting! Greed infested monsters! That is what they are. And they’re WRONG!!! They are just as wrong today as they were 15 years ago when they poisoned my mind with lies about what a child “needs and deserves.” It was a lie to say that my child deserved to be raised in a 2 parent home. Had I held onto his tiny little hand, that’s what my son would’ve had. Sure I might have remained unmarried for a little while, but his father always wanted to keep him. Not only would he have had a 2 parent home, he would have had THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD! I’ve never told my husband how much it pained my heart when he proposed to me. Our son was born in October. On Christmas the same year my (then) boyfriend proposed. I still recall how it ached to look at the engagement ring. Only 2 months after our only child was born – then lost. The words inside me were wishing he had done this two months earlier, then we could’ve kept our son. I didn’t even realize it at the time, but the adoption wasn’t final until 3 months after he was born. Dang! I was engaged to his father before he was even “officially” adopted. That really hurts.
And those greedy liars did not care about that boy and his needs? They did not care about the lifelong pain of his parents! They cared about their wallet, their nice home, their power. They cared about meeting the DEMAND!
What a FOOL I was to spew on my own blog – their repulsive lies!
Mommas – Expectant Moms – your baby deserves YOU!!! Don’t believe the LIE that he/she will be better off with strangers! No! He/she is better off with you.
If adopted, their life might be nice, their life might be good, but their life will also be complicated without you. Pro-adoption people won’t tell you that his/her life will be MORE DIFFICULT and at times very painful without you. So the walls went up – for a little while.
I think I felt defeated when I saw the pics of my son. But it seems more like there was a lot of gunpowder poured down the barrel before the ball was rammed in, then BANG! I’m not confined anymore. I am NOT going to give up. And I am NOT going to SHUT up. I lost him to the monsters once. But I won’t lose him again to their heinous lies! Not while I’m still alive! ARD in July … http://adopteerightsphilly.blogspot.com/
Why am I going? I’m going to fight the work of these monsters. The monsters aren’t content with ripping families apart for a mere buck. They want to keep them separated forever. They are still interfering with the lives of those who are adopted even as adults. The monsters are discriminatingly blocking them from their very own birth records; blocking them from their very own heritage; blocking them from their own medical history; blocking them from even a chance to find answers. With my friends I will fight the monsters at the ARD … for their rights & for the rights of my son. These monsters, they might beat me to a pulp. They might trample me. They might slash away at me. I might be crippled, wounded, and weak – but beaten & bloodied I WILL GET BACK UP AND FACE THEM AGAIN. I am not better off without my son. And My SON is certainly NOT better off without me. If only one of the monster were here right now, I’d give it one swift kick to the head with my right heel! Who knows maybe two kicks or even three!
NOT better off without me


  1. Cheerio... I am so thankful you see this... and I am sorry your family has had to suffer for the sake of an industry demand being fulfilled.

    DON'T ever SHUT UP, Keep your head up, Keep telling them what you know. REMEMBER THIS:

    "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

    Martin Luther King, Jr.

    It is oh so very, very true.

    Bravo. Stay strong.

    Myst xxx

  2. Bravo Cheerio!!! I agree with Myst, don't ever shut up. They don't deserve to win!!! Your song (ring tone) on my cell phone is there because it made me think of you and your determination to fight against all the wrongs that happened to you and your son . . .

    --Sometimes life can get a little dark
    I'm sure I've got bruises on my heart
    Here come the black clouds full of pain
    Yeah, you can break away without the chains.

    ---So let it rain, it's pouring all around me
    Let it fall, it ain't gonna drown me

    The monsters do not deserve another chance to silence you!!!!


  3. For me, at least, it's difficult to shake off the words, the manipulation. They tear you down and make you feel like nothing. You start to believe it. That's how they win. It sticks with us, it has stuck with me, for so many years. It all blurs together. Good for you for recognizing it was not your own true voice nor was it reality that was speaking. That is a commendable feat.
    I agree with Myst - don't ever shut up.
    That's was their goal.

  4. Karen-I had sent you an Email but I don't know if you got it-Amy told me her E-mail account was hacked, and I think mine was too. I just wanted to say hi and I hope you are well-and yes we must never shut up. They manipulate Adoptees too...take care Cheerio...