About Cheerio

My photo
In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Positive Adoption Language / Respectful Adoption Language

Cheerio the student is going to do more digging, reading, and research.

Specific purpose for my next (short only 3 page) paper is going to be -"I will inform my reader about one of the tactics against expectant moms from adoption professionals’ use of positive words and phrases to undermine her self confidence."

As I am researching what people say about PAL/RAL (Positive Adoption Language/Respectful Adoption Language), I am stupified that this one thought shows up on so many websites... "When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important but one is not more important than the other. "

Wait, did I read that correctly? "Both are important, but one is not more important than the other." Yes, I DID read it correctly? Who comes up with these things?

Let's forget about emotions. Is that even logical???
How is it possible to have adoption without a birth?

Umm, I'm thinking it isn't.

So, if they start out their explanation of downplaying and disrespecting the importance of birth, do I really want to adhere to their idea(s) of what Respectful will be?

More posts are sure to come later on this PAL/RAL subject.
Still shaking my head as I signoff...


  1. Well, taking into consideration that there are some families built by birth and adoption in which it really does not matter that biological origin really matters, there seems to be a grain of truth in it, but perverted by a professional liar.

  2. yes, Theodore, I agree that
    there are some families with both adopted and non-adopted children. And in those cases, no it should not matter - as far as how they care for the childrer. However, to the ones who are adopted, I think it is important to acknowledge the part of them tied birth outside the family, and be very careful to not be dismissive of it.

  3. Yes, that is what I tried to express with it really does not matter that biological origin really matters. Bought a new book a few days ago on such a family, well, if that only would set standards, first return trip searching for daughter's roots at age 5 (yep, just five years of age! And she was 16 months old when she left, kids in the street still knew her), searchers for 10 year old son active for 18 months,... The acknowledgement of their roots, even if bio-families cannot be found, is an important part of the book, as the acknowledgement that every child SHOULD grow up with his or her bio-parents...

  4. Theodore, my apologies in delay at posting your comment...I had not signed into my blog for a few weeks.
    I completely agree with you!
    "The acknowledgement of their roots,. . . is an important part . . .acknowledgement that every child SHOULD grow up with ..."

  5. Sorry for not reponding to you by e-mail, I suffered a total hardware crash, and I am now on a little holiday, took the time to read a new rapport on relinquishing mothers in the Netherlands (1998-2007). It was a pretty thorough study, part of an adoption-as-abortion-alternative research program, I could summarize it a bit for you.