Why should an adult adoptee have to pay money to find out the 'non-identifying information' about their original family? The information is rarely helpful. "Your mother was average height, brown hair, and under 20 years old." Gee, why don't they include "your mother was a female." That would be just as helpful. So, adoption agencies/professionals and social services gather all kinds of information on the original mothers, but won't give it to the person who deserves it the most.
It has come out of such groups destroying or discarding the records. There are also problems where the information was falsified. This Jack's heart breaking situation. Unless there is a miracle, he will never be able to find his original family, as the the mother's name was falsified on the records.While she was talking, I could not help but think of my friend that I’ve know for several years. We met on an adoption forum just before she turned 18. We’ve met f2f a few times, talked on the phone a lot, and have kept in touch throughout the through the years. As Kimamalika was approaching her 18th birthday she voiced her greatest desire over and over and over again. She wanted some kind of contact with her original mother. She did as Romany, she played by the Rules – she contacted the agency that handled her adoption. She learned that a few years prior to turning 18, her original mother inquired about contact with her, but the response she was given was “that we’re not interested.” I can hear her voice in my head now, as she told me about this over the phone. “Exactly who is ‘we?’ No one ever asked me!?!? I would have been interested!” There was another phone call with her that I’ll never forget. She was 19 and wanted desperately to just see a picture of her original mother, but it was a ‘closed adoption.’ She was on the phone with the agency, again. She’d sent a letter to them to forward to her original mother. Her letter included a picture of herself. And as she was talking to the agency worker, she had a hard blow. She tells the woman, “All I want is to see, to know what my mother looks like.” The woman replies, “Well, I’m sitting here with a picture of you, and a picture of her, and let’s just say that when you look in the mirror, you’re looking at her.” This memory of her experience has been the reason I fight for Adoptee Rights. What happened to her was wrong, morally wrong. Why is it that a stranger could look at a picture of her mother, but she could not? Why should a complete stranger have the right to know her mother’s name, yet she does not? Does any of that make sense to you? I’ll never forget that phone call with her, she was furious. Yet below all the fire and steam and fury, she was hurt. It brings tears to my eyes even now as I remember and write about it. Adoptees having rights to their Original Birth Certificate is about way much more than a mere piece of paper. It’s about a piece of themselves, their history, their origins, their heritage. It’s a piece of their very soul. Why should it be trapped in a tightly sealed jar hidden in a dark cold cellar? Let's bring it out of the darkness. Let's let unseal the lid, open it up and let that piece of their souls out into the fresh air and breath life, their life.