About Cheerio

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In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

the empty swing

The empty swing...

Last night, as I was walking up the driveway from checking the mail, I stopped at the top of the hill.
From there I could see many of the new flowerbeds I put in since we moved here last year. To me, it looked pretty - all the orange zinnia, white mums, the pink vinca flowers, along with all the other flowers still blooming at this time of year.

It made me think of one of the counselors I went to for a few sessions, since I lost my son to adoption. She said that it was good that I was a gardener; it helped to get out the 'nurturing' side of me.

So, here I stand on the hill looking out over all these flowers. And I realized that if I had my son with me, I would not have all these flowers. I wouldn't have time. Maybe I wouldn't have the 'need'.

 As I'm gazing and pondering, my eye stops at the playhouse on our property. I have two cats, they don't use the playhouse. My nephew doesn't get to come over enough to use the playhouse. So there is sits, empty and alone (like my heart).

I have tons of flowers, but an empty swing. It was designed to bring joy to a child, and fill the air with laughter. Instead - it's empty.

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