About Cheerio

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In general I am a cheery and energetic person. But I am enshrouded in a cloak of iron. That cloak is the weight of greiving my son, whom I've lost to adoption.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Poem to "My Lost Loved One"


I am standing here in darkness of night.
Surrounding me are trees and vines, 
Coldness and fright.
 
There is a dense fog encircling me.
It covers the ground, 
Swirls around the trees.
 
A fog of thoughts and memories
It chills my skin, 
Makes it impossible to see.
 
How did I get to this haunting place?
Alone, I look around 
But no footprints can be traced.
 
Mocking voices carry thru the air
“You know what you did- 
Did you know it would lead you here?”
 
Why is it I keep hearing his name?
I echo the sounds, 
Crying out to him just the same?
 
I listen intently to hear a reply.
None is returned. 
Of course not! That part of me has died.
 
The sting of truth, the pain it inflicts
I should have held on to you 
Instead I released my grip.
 
My heart, it aches like never before.
The pain is intense. 
I can’t believe they closed the door.
 
In my anger and pain I furiously swing.
Trying to ward off 
Taunting thoughts attacking my brain.
 
It's of null affect on this fog in the dark
I sink to the ground 
From the weight of grief overtaking my heart.
 
My little boy, little boy, my firstborn son
I let go of you 
When I should have brought you home.

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