Tuesday, June 29, 2010
So for the past few weeks I've been getting things ready.
I have my lists of things to do, must do, have hubby do, to buy, to clean, to throw away, and to make.
I've shocked myself that I actually made and mailed out invitations this year. They turned out very nice, if I must say so myself (yes, Cheerio, they look very patriotic!).
Tonight I'm tidying up the room where I'll have the drink station and food table setup -- the Family Room, as I call it. The plan is to work on this room next, now that THE WALL project is complete.
This room is just a concrete slab (because we had to rip out the flea infested carpet when we moved in). We originally planed to put in new carpet, but then found out how dirty coal and wood is. So now our plan is to put in a hardwood floor to match the kitchen flooring.
This is also the room we installed a coal stove - the 2nd love of my life!!!
Hubby's Dad and my Dad put in the slate hearth. Then I helped mix the mortar for them to build the brick wall behind the stove and stovepipe. So that area has a lot of memories I'll cherish.
In this room we reinforced the sagging roof. Put up drywall on one wall near the wide panoramic windows. This created a wide windowsill which I originally envisioned our kitty will love to sit and watch the birds.
Just so you know, Cheerio STINKS at interior decorating!!! (It took me over a year here to put up a clock!) I am also very lame with putting up pictures.
But after we found our two lost nephews last year, I have pics of them up. So I felt like I'd better put out pics of Hubby's neice and nephew. Well, I have a group family pic of my mom and sister and her family. So, I found a pic of Hubby's mom and dad to put out. I am going put all these pics (even though the frames don't match this year) on display on the wide windowsill.
So, right now, this very moment,
I am saving a school pic of my son to my jump drive,
so I can print it.
Then I will put it in a decorative metal frame I like.
Then I will put his pic on the windowsill with the rest of our family.
Friday, June 25, 2010
"Rich is not how much you have, It's who you have beside you."
Rich - "who you have beside you." I AM RICH with the treasure of the man who is beside me. Rich Indeed! But it begs to ask, if Rich is who you have beside you, then what is it when someone who should be beside you, but isn't there? My guess? That would be Poor. My life is Rich with my wonderful husband beside me, yet at the same time, without my son, life is poor - it is definately underpriviledged and deprived what it could be (for all of us - him, his father, for me). . . . sigh . . . I just miss him. I want to look into his eyes. I want to hear his voice (for the first time). I want to give him a big warm hug. I hope for warm hug in return. I want to watch him walk across a room, to just see him in motion. my heart aches the tears well up in my eyes and threaten to spill over just thinking about him ohhh... how I miss him ...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
yeah, Mamba- - maybe that's the crux of what eats at me. I AM unacknowledged - Yes, I am a mother, but not to the majority in my life who don't know I have a teenage son 'out there somewhere'. And to the rest who know about him (mostly family) , they don't think about it. BECAUSE they don't think of me as a mother.
Thanks Mamba-. I think you helped me a LOT. This is where I can change my future...
I need to stop accepting the projections people put on me. I KNOW who and what I am. My Husband knows who and what I am. We both know what it has done to me (&us) so who cares what they think or how they do OR DON"T view me.I don't think I realized this until now. Thanks for helping me see the forest AND the trees!" And this is how I approached m-day this year. I don't need anyone else to acknowledge my motherhood. It all starts with me. I know the truth of it all. And even if others don't consider me to be a mother, that can't steal motherhood away from me. An expression I've heard before is that adoption cannot make someone an unmother. Whether his family likes it or not, my son has two mothers, and I am one of them. Whether his family likes it or not, my son has two fathers, and my husband is one of them. I don't care if people don't know, or don't understand, or misunderstand. THEIR OPINION doesn't count to me anymore! I know who and what I am, and they (whoever they are) can't change that! Shortly after writing this, I shared it with my hubby. His reply was honest and humorous as he said, "I don't understand what you just said, but it sounds like it's a good thing." And a good thing it has turned out to be. M-day 2010 was the very first m-day I did not shrivel in on myself and wish to die and merely survive the day. I overcame it!