tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post6144322536926908798..comments2023-06-14T11:09:46.819-04:00Comments on Surviving Adoption Loss: Talked Into adoption?Cheerio!http://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-84373527353452618872009-09-17T06:42:41.153-04:002009-09-17T06:42:41.153-04:00I'm so so sorry that you went through this Che...I'm so so sorry that you went through this Cheerio :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-5666144843528839752009-05-20T14:15:47.361-04:002009-05-20T14:15:47.361-04:00This is the beauty about living in South Africa.It...This is the beauty about living in South Africa.It's in our African blood that a child is raised by the village-even when we live in the city.If a teen falls pregnant, it's a given (in the black race, not so sure about whites and coloureds) that the grandmother will help.Adoption is NEVER an option.Yes, newborns are foind in garbage bins, but that happens in the US too,so it's not like adoption advertising would make a big difference.For once, I'm proud of my culture and it's traditions.Titus 2 Thandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04682041725252115845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-64067733002902036682009-01-19T00:57:00.000-05:002009-01-19T00:57:00.000-05:00Wow...I could have written this post word for word...Wow...I could have written this post word for word. I bet we even had the same "Christian" agency. Thanks for writing and sharing the truth that adoption is not all roses and sunshine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-70538278721889624462009-01-10T22:31:00.000-05:002009-01-10T22:31:00.000-05:00Hi Cheerio...Interesting post. And I agree with yo...Hi Cheerio...<BR/><BR/>Interesting post. And I agree with you.<BR/><BR/>From the way I see it... young mothers are 'talked into adoption' BEFORE they even become pregnant because of the way the media and society gears it. You don't see poitive images of young mothers raising their own children, movies are not made into blockbusters with stories of how young grils fight all odds to become the mothers they are meant to be. No, all young girls, women etc are bombarded almost daily with the message that if you get pregnant outside of a realtionship you either get an abortion or you adopt your child out. When I discovered I was pregnant, my options of what I could do were given to me in this order: abort, place or raise. Raising my OWN child was given to me as a LAST resort not first and this is sick. And this as in New Zealand, not the US so it shows the view the US holds has permeated all Western countries.<BR/><BR/>So a person can say they were "not talked into" placing their adoption but you see, they are from the very moment they know they are expecting. Adoption is there, waiting. If it was percieved as acceptable to raise one's own child regardless of the circumstances, then adoption wouldn't be so prevalent but the way young mothers are portrayed means they lose from the start if they don't have support (and really strong support) from the beginning. So coercion these days starts before a young girl is pregnant. And it is more manipulative as they don't even realise that the choice they have supposedly made for them was already pre-empted by society. Its actually pretty scary and really sad.Mysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07425550479815459790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-37787257923624107902008-12-30T01:33:00.000-05:002008-12-30T01:33:00.000-05:00Yay! you read my comment. I was beginning to worry...Yay! you read my comment. I was beginning to worry that I would never get a reaction!;)<BR/><BR/>Alot of what you say makes sense.<BR/>Personally, the way that I learned about adoption was through a personal friendship with an older women. <BR/>She is a mother to two children and she placed her third daughter for adoption.<BR/>I keep in occasional contact with her and know that she still sees her daughter a lot, like once or twice a week or month, whenever she wants. She is very happy with her situation.<BR/><BR/>She is the reason that I decided to go ahead with placing my own birthson. When I found out I was pregnant my first thought was of her.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I was very aware of 'pro-life' and all.<BR/>I think it may have somehow planted a seed in my mind years and years before I had to make the decision to place or parent my birthson. <BR/><BR/>I know I could have parented, even the counselor I had at the adoption agency I went through gave me info on single parenting and highly highly encouraged the option of parenting for myself and the birthfather.<BR/><BR/>I know the adoption industry is not all good things. I know a lot of bad things happen because money is involved. I think the counselor stopped working at the agency that I went through maybe because they found out she was advocating parenting???<BR/><BR/>The offical story is that she when back to being a counselor for children at the hosiptal.<BR/><BR/>I was never told to 'do whats best for the child'<BR/>Even the day I gave birth the counselor was congratulating me on being a new mother. Even then they were challenging me to parent, NOT to place!! This made me even surer that being with the adoptive parents was the right thing. Even though I didn't really get to know them at all during the short time that I met them before I gave birth (about six week before). <BR/><BR/>I was sure because I was sure I had had dreams about them years ago. Long before I ever thought I could be pregnant. I am a little bit psychic.<BR/>I usually dream about all the important people in my life before I meet them.<BR/><BR/>Also, I had my birthson as an adult who is employed and understands what life costs.<BR/>Maybe that makes a difference to my situation and others.<BR/><BR/>I totally love how you are totally straight with your opinion. Don't hold back girl, give it to me!! <BR/><BR/>I comment to provoke responses like the one above.<BR/>Thanks again for reading what I wrote.<BR/><BR/>BTW: I wrote 'talked into adoption' because I wasn't sure how to spell 'coerced' :))cindy psbmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09395540931984810886noreply@blogger.com