tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post1407911449706309024..comments2023-06-14T11:09:46.819-04:00Comments on Surviving Adoption Loss: Who sufferes more? BirthMom from closed adoption? Birth Mom in open adoption? or the Adoptee?Cheerio!http://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-62839016017635943722012-03-23T06:12:19.676-04:002012-03-23T06:12:19.676-04:00thank you, Didi.
I'll agree that we cannot f...thank you, Didi. <br />I'll agree that we cannot forget the source and cause of the pain, and fight that - not one another.Cheerio!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-60376131496965245862012-03-22T16:42:42.157-04:002012-03-22T16:42:42.157-04:00I have always felt that it is impossible to quanti...I have always felt that it is impossible to quantify pain. And I believe it was in a Futurama episode that made this satirically clear "my pain hurts more because it's mine." Creating a scale upon which to measure pain dismisses the real problem: mothers and infants were used to artificially manufacture families for the profit of a third party. Period. And whether or not one or the other person hurts *more* is utterly irrelevant in the whole picture. If you need personal validation or sympathy - you are entitled to it, and I wholeheartedly encourage you get seek it, demand it, and get it. BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN!! <br /><br />After all, that's what many adopters do - they seek to mask their own pain in a process that creates pain for others - all to make themselves feel satisfied and get what they want irrespective of the real needs of those they are causing harm. Let's not perpetuate this narcissistic cycle. <br /><br />Everybody Hurts.<br /><br />-didi gossonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-76862203275820312442012-03-22T11:40:24.466-04:002012-03-22T11:40:24.466-04:00yes, Myst - the hurt is different - even from thos...yes, Myst - the hurt is different - even from those in similar situations. The hurt is different between Moms from BSE, it is different between Moms with open adoptions. The hurt is also different even between adoptees thenselves. <br />Yes, I thnk it is more beneficial to focus our energies in understanding and supporting each other, instead of dividing with competition.<br /><br />I don't have a lot of free time these days, wish I could blog more. Thanks, Myst!Cheerio!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-25246698872399134192012-03-22T11:37:06.920-04:002012-03-22T11:37:06.920-04:00thanks for your support, WPthanks for your support, WPCheerio!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-7436302820740492662012-03-22T11:27:07.700-04:002012-03-22T11:27:07.700-04:00Letters... "contest" exactly! We should...Letters... "contest" exactly! We should not have to feel like it is a contest or turn it into a contest. We are all (original moms and adoptees) losers in this one. The winners are the money grubbing agencies.Cheerio!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-36503398250819111472012-03-22T01:50:31.279-04:002012-03-22T01:50:31.279-04:00I agree... and the contest appears to go on from t...I agree... and the contest appears to go on from there to everyone involved in adoption. No one has a monopoly on pain. Hurt isn't about who hurts more, the fact is we all hurt but it is different. Far better to focus energy into empathising with each other and understanding one another's pain than competing! <br /><br />Nice to see you blogging Cheerio!! :) Missed you xxxMysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07425550479815459790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-23791334007473368732012-03-21T08:56:42.799-04:002012-03-21T08:56:42.799-04:00So true Cheerio.So true Cheerio.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09180212836126704979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-75402310993109933802012-03-21T00:21:32.948-04:002012-03-21T00:21:32.948-04:00Excellent post - this isn't a contest to see w...Excellent post - this isn't a contest to see who hurts the most. We all hurt...and that's the ugly truth of adoption.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-12052577345294667032012-03-20T12:55:52.905-04:002012-03-20T12:55:52.905-04:00Thank you, S. Yes, there is enough, too much pain...Thank you, S. Yes, there is enough, too much pain already.Cheerio!https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709663898726245342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5881694936200344846.post-6943379956008087412012-03-20T12:07:51.774-04:002012-03-20T12:07:51.774-04:00Good post - There's enough pain in adoption to...Good post - There's enough pain in adoption to go around for all of us.S.noreply@blogger.com